When You Know it’s Right

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
— Franz Schubert

We all face challenging decisions at times. Often the toughest ones are such because we know the significant impact they will have on our lives. When I think about difficult choices, those regarding career direction and job changes immediately come to mind. Most of us have faced these at some point in our lives. In our industry alone I’ve watched countless people move from one job to another. I’ve met with many a shop owner through the years who went out on a limb to open his or her business, taking on substantial debt with only a hope and a prayer (and I’d assume a solid business strategy) that the business would survive. Some have; some haven’t.

I was closer witness to a fledgling business when my daughter opened her athletic performance center a year and a half ago. At only 23 years old, she faced some long odds by borrowing a lot of money and investing it on equipment and a three-year lease commitment, knowing she had to build and maintain a solid client list while competing against numerous gyms, training facilities and physical therapy centers throughout the city. But so far, her unique approach to performance improvement and injury prevention, along with her ability to see the big picture and set and stay focused on productive goals, has put her on a path toward long-term success.

The difficulty of these decisions typically does not speak to our level of commitment to our ideas or our ability to carry them out, but perhaps more to our confidence in others to see the advantages we already know we bring to the table. We know what we would like to accomplish, but usually the end result also rides on some luck and the behavior of others.

Fortunately, some decisions are easier than others. Sometimes we just know the answer—the best option—when the timing is right, regardless of how big of a step it may be. Here’s a warning: Things are about to get a bit mushy.

This month (October 12, to be exact), I’ll take a leap of my own as I marry the love of my life. While I haven’t taken this decision lightly (as I’m sure she has not either), the decision was clear cut.

I was married before (more than 20 years ago); I know what it’s like, and I’ve been confident for a long time that I’d want to be again. I only had to find the right person, and I’ve definitely done that. But wow, that search was tiresome. No need to reflect much on what I’ve gone through to get to this point, but I can at least say that I’ve met a lot of nice people; only one has made the decision to move forward into marriage obvious.

I met Cara in the summer of 2017. I was content with my situation before that time, but she brought an immediate spark—new energy—to my life. I cannot say that I knew right away that she was “the one,” but we bonded quickly. Our similar interests and goals made it easy to get to know each other, and new adventures with her have been as fun to plan as they have been to experience. We seem to enjoy every minute we have together.

Easily one of the most important factors has been the relationship Cara has formed with my kids. Joey and Andi are young adults now, but it’s still so important to me that they get along. And it’s far more than that; they have become close friends. In fact, I’ve received overwhelming reassurance from my family and friends that Cara fits in perfectly and that I’m clearly happier now than they’ve seen me in many years (or perhaps ever). That must be the final piece of the puzzle. I know it’s right, and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my days with this special person.

If only all of life’s major decisions were this easy. Which house should we buy? Which candidate should we hire to fill the open position? When should I sell my business? The answers don’t usually come easy. I’m a lucky guy.